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To avoid this, you need to use deliberate practice. Identify a clear, specific stretch goal based on something that you're not quite able to do yet, and push yourself beyond your comfort zone to get there. Strive to tackle ambitious projects, ask for brutally honest feedback, and experiment with new ways to develop your skills.

To make sure you're on the right track, use money as a neutral indicator of the value of your skill. Newport calls this idea "the law of financial viability. If you don't see people giving you an increasing amount of money for what you're doing, then you're not getting that much better at it. Take control of your career to gain benefits that resonate with you.

1. Curious

For example, if you are a television writer, once you have established a strong portfolio, you will have the opportunity to choose the specific shows you want to work on and collaborate with any big name you desire. When your skills become valuable enough, finding clients will never be a problem again. The better you are, the more doors will open for you. You'll have the freedom and flexibility to jump for whatever opportunity seems most promising to you.

You don't need to have a mission to love your work, but it's a common thing that most people want to pursue. However, finding your mission is one of the last steps you should think about. This is because a career mission is similar to a scientific breakthrough — it's an innovation at the very cutting edge of your field, so you can't know about it until you get there. We know it is mechanical and we resent it. Fake it until you make it. Force yourself to smile and the mind will often follow. Pay attention. Spell it out if need be. Repeat it several times.

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Build a mental picture. Write it down.

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Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves. Nothing else is so flattering as that. Ask questions that the other person will enjoy answering. Make the other person feel important — and do it sincerely. Instead try to: Welcome the disagreement: This might be an opportunity to avoid a serious mistake.

50. On Becoming a Leader

Watch out for and distrust your first instinct to be defensive. Control your temper. Listen first. Look first for areas of agreement. Be honest about and apologise for your mistakes. Thank the other person sincerely for their time and interest. Postpone action to give both sides time to think through the problem.

I frequently am.

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Let the other person take the role of a collaborative and benevolent forgiver rather than an opponent. Begin in a friendly way. Friendliness begets friendliness. Glow with it. Overflow with it. This will help things get off on a collaborative foot. They know more about their business and problems than you do.

So ask the questions. Consult with them, collaborate on and influence a half finished idea rather than presenting a final solution. If you can, sit down with a piece of paper and a pen. If I were you I would undoubtedly feel just as you do. It will help you be more sympathetic with those of others. Appeal to the nobler motives. Dramatise your ideas. Present your ideas in an interesting, creative and dramatic way that captures attention.

Think laterally; how can you present tabular data in a creative way that encourages interaction and engages more of the senses than just sight? Throw down a challenge. I do not mean in a sordid money-getting way, but in the desire to excel.

Instead the work itself must be motivating and exciting. Make performance metrics public. Let people enjoy a challenge. The chance for self-expression. The chance to prove his or her worth, to excel, to win. Carnegie illustrates them with some superb examples that are well worth reading in full.

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My family never made any plans for me on Saturday night, for the family knew that I devoted a part of each Saturday evening to the illuminating process of self-examination and review and appraisal. After dinner, I went off by myself, opened my engagement book, and thought over all the interviews, discussions and meetings that had taken place during the week. I asked myself: What mistakes did I make that time? What did I do that was right — and in what way could I have improved my performance? What lessons can I learn from that experience? We are dealing with creatures of emotion, creatures bristling with prejudices nd motivated by pride and vanity.

Remember, there is no other way.

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Health and the preservation of life. Money and the things money will buy. Life in the hereafter. Sexual gratification.

If he accepted the other offer,though, he would control just two of five seats on the board. Triandiflou felt that Ockham would grow bigger if he roped in the venture capital firm rather than the angel investor. After much soul-searching, he decided to take a risk, and he sold an equity stake to the venture firm. Similarly, at Wily Technology, a Silicon Valley enterprise software company, founder Lew Cirne gave up control of the board and the company in exchange for financial backing from Greylock Partners and other venture capital firms.

As a result, CA bought Wily two years later for far more money than it would have if Cirne had tried to go it alone.